When the Walk Becomes a Crawl
Who among us hasn’t experienced both the mountaintops and gullies of life? Sometimes we know unspeakable joy, and other times we walk through dark valleys. At the moment, I write from a deep, dark valley, one such as I have never known before, as my life has been a wonderful one, characterized more accurately by King David when he wrote, “The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places” (Ps. 16:6).
As a friend, relative, spouse, and Bible-study leader, I have sincerely but ignorantly offered oft-used Christian clichés to people undergoing great trials. The phrases sounded pious and are easy to repeat. But when someone is enduring the empty despair of a valley, these words can fall on deaf ears.
I have told people, “Everything will work out for your good and God’s glory.” I know this to be true because it’s based in Scripture: “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Rom. 8:28).
However, what we consider our “good” sometimes looks much different than what God knows is good for us.
Counting the Cost of Faith
Many Christians believe that if they walk in fellowship with the Lord, their trials will be minimal and short-lived. But God has not made us this promise, regardless of how much faith we have.
True faith is costly. Concerning men and women who walked by faith, the author of Hebrews wrote,
Some faced jeers and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were put to death by stoning; they were sawed in two; they were killed by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated—the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, living in caves and in holes in the ground (11:36–38, NIV).
Living for Jesus does not assure a trouble-free “happily ever after” in this earthly life. But Jesus assures us, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Heb. 13:5), and, “In Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (Jn. 16:33).
The people who experienced the brutal fates described in Hebrews 11 are the ones Scripture lists as the greatest examples of true faith.
Nevertheless, well-meant optimism is not always comforting for those who are suffering. I remember several times in my women’s Bible studies when someone requested prayer for physical health. There always seemed to be at least one member of our group who responded, “Don’t worry; I know God is going to heal you.” I’m not sure what prompts such a response, but that statement isn’t always true; and I don’t believe it constitutes faith.
In the furnace of affliction, we cannot look only for pleasant outcomes. We need the kind of conviction that the three young Hebrews had in Babylonian King Nebuchadnezzar’s fiery furnace (Dan. 3).
While the Jewish people suffered under Babylonian captivity, Nebuchadnezzar condemned three God-fearing Jews—Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego (in Hebrew, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah)—to be thrown into a fiery furnace for refusing to bow down and worship a gold image he had set up. Although they believed the God of Israel was able to deliver them from the flames (v. 17), they also told the king that even if God didn’t rescue them, they would not serve any other gods (v. 18).
The young men wanted a good outcome. They believed God could preserve them. But they displayed true, deep trust in the Lord when they placed their lives unconditionally in His hands. They weren’t like the woman in my Bible study who guaranteed God would heal the sick. Instead, they said, “Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us” (v. 17).
That’s the type of faith Abraham had when he prepared to offer up his own son Isaac in obedience to God (Gen. 22). That’s the type of faith the apostle Paul had when he wrote, “For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Phil. 1:21). That’s the type of faith Jesus had in the Garden of Gethsemane when, anticipating His death, He told God the Father, “Not My will, but Yours, be done” (Lk. 22:42).
Finding Fulfillment in Christ
I’ve been searching for a good outcome in my struggles with illness and grief. Sometimes I think I see a light at the end of this dark tunnel. But before my spirit lifts, the tunnel collapses; and I fall back into despondency.
Then I’m reminded that so many of those who were commended for their faith never saw the earthly fulfillment of the things they were promised. Instead, they “waited for the city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God” (Heb. 11:10), looking for their eternal rewards.
Sometimes our anguish is so great that tears can’t even form, and our emotion-numbing disheartenment makes it difficult to breathe. I think of people who have lost spouses or whose children died young. Where can we turn when life is at its toughest, when our walk with the Lord becomes a crawl?
In the midst of my circumstances, I remind myself that my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is my everything. My faith is rooted in Him. My hope and joy are found in Him. He orders my life, meets my needs, gives me strength, forgives my sins, and promises to stay with me forever.
He knows my thoughts, feels my pain, and guides my path. He shelters me from my storms and anchors me to Himself. He renews my mind, touches my heart, and secures my soul eternally. The whole world is at His command, and my allegiance is due to Him alone—now and forever.
Pursuing the Perfect Light
Even when we can’t feel His presence, God is with us. David wrote, “The darkness and the light are both alike” to the Lord (Ps. 139:12), and “even the night shall be light” around Him (v. 11). He acknowledged before God that, even at the ends of the earth, “Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me” (v. 10).
God sees His beloved children crawl across the rocky ground with skinned knees, raw palms, and broken hearts. Even when we can’t see the Light, we can be sure He’s there (Jn. 8:12).
Dark times can render us helpless and weak, tempting us to think our faith is worthless because things are not turning out the way we want. But it’s at those times we should be running—or crawling—to God. When we do, our relationship with Him becomes more intimate because we’ve trusted in Him rather than in ourselves. We can hold onto this faith for our entire lives.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal (2 Cor. 4:16–18).
I pray that God will help me endure my hardships. I pray He will help me regain my footing and lift my head heavenward once again, walking with joy and purpose. I pray I can again bound across spiritual mountaintops, feasting on His goodness and grace instead of crawling through the valley of sorrow, scraping and struggling for a glimpse of victory.
I’d like to push a “help-I’ve-fallen-and-I-can’t-get-up” button and receive instant aid. Graciously, God has given me such a device in the form of praying friends—friends who don’t give false assurances or offer unfounded hope or cheap promises. They pray for me when I struggle to pray for myself. Perhaps you have such friends too.
If you are struggling today with burdens that feel too great to bear, find those truly godly friends who can bear them with you; and pray to God with trust and humility. Then, you can repeat David’s words, “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me” (Ps. 23:4).
Through the study of God’s Word, train yourself to focus your eyes on the Lord whom, one day, we shall behold face to face.
Linda, what you have written is exactly at times, what I have experienced in the valley. I can’t feel your pain, but I can relate to how you are feeling only because I have been there. I wish I could say more but this is not the place. The one thing that seemed to help me was I started thanking God. I said Lord I don’t feel thankful but I’m going to thank you because your word says in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18. I will be praying for you. One day, we will never suffer again. In Jesus name, Amen.